Oreti Beach doesn’t do pretty. It does vast, wild and completely indifferent to whether you’re impressed by it or not. The sand is grey, the Southern Ocean crashes in from Antarctica, and the wind doesn’t ask permission. On any given day you’ll share it with horses, trucks, dogs and the kind of people who don’t mind being battered by the elements. We went on a blue-sky day with a circular polariser and a gold coat, and somehow the place was almost beautiful. Almost.